do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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