I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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