Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
