The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
