Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
