I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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