i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
