You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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