He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
