I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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