I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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