I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
