I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
