Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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