why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
