I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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