You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
