Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
