so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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