I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
