so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
