Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
