check it out our google latitudes are spooning
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
