I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
