im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
