real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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