i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
