Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
