If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
only if we run a train.
done.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
