So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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