I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
