I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
