shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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