There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
