i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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