take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
