He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
