i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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