No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
