i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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