She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
