Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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