break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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