I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
