Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
