hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
