Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
