Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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