Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You ruined the universe
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
