did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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