Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
