I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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