I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
