He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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