in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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