shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
